I owe you a post! It’s not that I haven’t been thinking about posting, it’s that I decided to start posting again because my therapist stopped practicing (you see why this would be a bad idea) and I’ve been floating in endless abyss without someone to ground me. Anyways, instead of doing anything profound I’m giving you Met Gala content. I hate Karl Lagerfeld because he ruined Chanel but he absolutely churned out the looks in his day. You should listen to the Maintenance Phase episode about him. And then all of the other ones!!!!
This post is too long so you will need to view it on the website to see all of them. Here we go!
Amanda Seyfried
MOTHER!!!!!!!!! I’m a sucker for 70s glamour. Amanda sat her ass down and listened. I love when celebrities actually make bold choices for their brand. Not that a mini dress is revolutionary, but it’s been a few years since we’ve seen her in one!
Michaela Coel
She simply never misses. It looks like it was made for her!
Brian Tyree Henry
Slayed. Thank you to this man for trying.
Maya Hawke
She looks like a very chic French Michelin Man, which what I spend my winters wishing I looked like.
Anne Hathaway
Anne has always been a classic beauty and dressed like it. She has taste!! BUT!!! Rihanna calling her a MILF has definitely freed her from the constraints of chasing trying to look like a John Singer Sargent. She’s never looked better.
Camila Morrone
I think this tendency towards minimalism tends to make outfits look unfinished. Especially if that minimalism is trying to play up sex appeal— please stop trying to look hot at the Met Gala. Leave the male gaze out of this shit! She needs a bow around the neck and bigger jewelry. If you’re going to hint at sexy grandma you might as well accessorize like one.
Keke Palmer
I love that Keke Palmer’s smile is her greatest accessory. She shines from within. Still, someone should offer her some diamonds.
Margaret Qualley
Dating Jack Antonoff is a disease!!!! Get away from her!!!!! Andie please talk some sense into your daughter.
Phoebe Bridgers
Lovely and on theme but ultimately a bit boring. Wish someone had sent her jewelry.
Emma Chamberlin
Free women from the shackles of the National Anthem music video. Ladies, it's time to start being feminists again!
Kerry Washington
She looks like she’s about to ask her prom date if he remembered to buy vanilla vodka.
Penelope Cruz
Mommy? Sorry. Mommy? Sorry.
Olivia Rodrigo
I love her new dive into minimalist looks. The dress is fun and she looks beautiful, like a silent movie starlet. Did someone show her Metropolis?
Olivier Rousteing
He’s so real for this. Karl would have approved of the cuntiness.
Marion Cotillard
She looks exactly like she would’ve if Karl styled her. So, bad.
Florence Pugh
Normally she just doesn’t slay but this is actually bad. She looks like she has birds on her head.
Russell Westbrook
This outfit has an “I found this is the women's section of a Marshalls in Boca” vibe but I would still climb this man like a fucking tree.
Doja Cat
I don’t love it but it’s very her and I respect that.
Dua Lipa
I’m a sucker for a slutty 1770s look. This is perfect, and she looks stunning.
Lil Nas X
I actually think this is a rare miss from him! I love the look, but not for the occasion. At the risk of sounding like a grandma, the costume exhibit is an ode to clothes-- wear clothes!!!
Rachel Berry/Lea Michele
Wig!
This Guy
Someone needs to come get their boyfriend. He’s getting too big for his britches.
Lily Collins
At first glance I loved it and then I started noticing the details more. I think she should have removed the sleeves and worn a different style of shoe. The cuffs around the ankle look clunky, something that looks like a ballet shoe would’ve been perfect.
Micaela Diamond
Had no idea who this was before I googled her but I love this! I’m a sucker for overdone pastel eyeshadow.
Chiefs Quarterback and his Wife
Tom Brady was only invited because he was married to Gisele. This event is not for jocks unless they’re accessories. Get football away from the Met Gala.
Salma Hayek
Only Karl Lagerfeld could make Salma Hayek look bad. Not that she looks bad, but you know what I mean!!
Kristen Stewart
Chanel continues to dress this woman like absolute shit and I love it. Gay rights!
Alexa Chung
Sexy baby. She has so many good Chanel looks it’s sad this is what tonight came to.
Margot Robbie
She’s the closest to slaying she’s ever been so I’m going to give her.
Sienna Miller
Love that it’s giving Cruella de Vil. Don’t love that it’s also giving Avatar: The Last Airbender.
Robert Pattison and Suki Waterhouse
They look bad because God is on FKA Twigs’ side. As am I!
Sydney Sweeney
The bows don’t fit the dress and feel like an afterthought. Might have been salvaged with a red lip but I guess we’ll never know!
Karlie Kloss
Girl what the fuck. She is fighting for the rights of supermodels who can’t dress for shit.
Ben Platt
I wish his parents had sent him to public school.
Anna Wintour
When you think about it, it’s actually insane we let this woman tell us how to dress.
Not worth including: Cara Delevingne, Gigi Hadid, any of the Kardashians looks, Brooklyn and his psycho wife, Kate Moss, Christina Ricci (stream Yellowjackets!!), Lily James